All Fall Down, And Then Sherlock Is Dead
by Akasha-RC
Summary: Sherlock is dead, and I couldn't do anything about it. He left me all alone, my only friend, and my best friend. He was the most human, human being I had ever meet and now he is gone.


All Fall Down, and Then Sherlock is Dead

Sherlock is dead, and I couldn't do anything about it. He left me all alone, my only friend, and my best friend. He was the most human, human being I had ever meet and now he is gone.

Step out the door and it feels like rain

_That's the sound, that's the sound on your windowpane_

_Take to the streets but you can't ignore _

_That's the sound (that's the sound) you're waiting for._

Everyday John steps out of the infamous door that was, 221B Baker street, it was still hard for him, but he manages it all the same. He also kept his job at the clinic where Sarah always frets about his odd behaviors that he had developed following the fall. When it rains, he takes a half-day, and then leaves to walk the streets like today.

He takes his leave, and wanders through London, and he always wonders if he can catch a glimpse of him in the shadows that is and always shall be his essence. Sometimes he looks at the rooftops to see him jumping from roof to roof trying to catch a serial killer on the loose. He also walks through the rain, because the sound of it on the concrete floor always reminded him of the nights where he would chase after him while he chased the criminals before they did more harm. He always was a concern citizen, even if it was for the thrill of it.

After the walk he would always end back in front of the door, 221B, and then he would go to his armchair and start reading the solved cases that Sherlock had solved. He also read the lab write up he had. After he would stare out the window and process the information he acquired. He also gave anonymous tips to the police when he knew that they had missed the biggest clue, and he would have Mycroft's help in getting the police to take him seriously.

Mycroft another person he had hated so very much because it was his fault that Moriarty knew so much about Sherlock. After half a year he had finally confronted and demanded explanations to why he did it anyways, and then he had finally understood, but he still didn't like what he heard. Then he understood, that he was in pain about loosing his only other family, and he would remember him along with Mycroft.

Every once in a while they would meet at a private bar and they would chat about him and remember the good old days.

_If ever your world starts crashing down  
whenever you're world starts crashing down  
whenever your world starts crashing down  
that's when you'll find me._

Then there where the bad days when even his limp return to him, and he would feel unable to walk across, that was when he would call in sick. Those days where less but they still occurred, whenever he thought everything was going very good, the next day everything would turn upside down, and he would remember that his best friend was dead. He would remember the face, the cold lifeless face that was his.

Then he would go to the cementary and talk to his grave site, and then he would feel a little less guilty about feeling happy.

_Yeah God love your soul and your aching bones  
Take a breath, take a step, meet me down below  
Everyone's the same  
My fingers to our toes  
We just can't get a ride  
But we're on the road_

If ever your world starts crashing down  
Whenever your world starts crashing down  
Whenever your world starts crashing down  
That's when you'll find me.

He never had much faith but if he did, he would always ask for his miracle, and that was the only thing he would wish for more in the world, the one more miracle that his best friend was not dead.

John's POV:

When I got too much I would go back to where it had all ended, but then I would go and visit the last person to see his cold lifeless, body. Molly.

"Oh hey John, how is everything?" molly would say knowing it was me, as I dragged my legs across the floor, and sat on a bench near her office.

Today was on of the worst days and as she saw my face, she knew, and she dropped everything and then she would sit with me and try to comfort me.

"Its all right John, everything will be all right, just let time ease your healing mind. Maybe by next year you will finally have the will to stand and say that you have the will to be strong, and then everything will be fine." molly said, and I knew she was just trying to be helpful but it made me realize that Sherlock was no longer the same as me, he was more or less dust and bones, and soon forgotten even by molly and everyone else but me.

Sometimes in my dreams when I was able to get at least a few good hours I would be able to hear his voice telling me it was all right, and asking me if I was fine, but then I would wake alone, and my heart thumping in my chest as I remember that he is dead.

~~~ A Year Later~~~

I went to the Deal, Kent, with Sarah, and Greg and Molly, as a way to relax from a stressful weekend seeing as there where a lot of sick people.

I knew how to swim, but the current was a bit too much, but either way I wanted to try cliff diving.

_Lost till you're found_

_swim till you drown_

_Know that we all fall down_

_love till you hate_

_strong till you break_

_know that we all fall down_

Once I got up I knew I saw higher then I should have been, and then I didn't see that there was a bigger wave coming, until I was already jumping into the water.

I was lost inside the deep water, and I was trying to swim back to the top to try and get some air, but I was confused to where I was supposed to go. I was swimming, and then I just gave up, I was drowning and I knew that everyone fall sooner or later.

"John!"

"John, can you hear me?"

"John, please wake up, at least mumble to something!"

I heard all these voices, and then I was coughing up water, and a strong arm was pounding on my back as I was coughing up water.

I knew I was strong as much as my fake liveliness, and now I finally broke down, because no matter how much I missed Sherlock, I knew I wanted to live, to at least try to keep alive, and I could not do this to Mycroft once again.

"Where you trying to kill your self in the most awful way?" Lestrade was shouting, and I felt like a child being scolded.

"Oh, John I am very happy to see those charming eyes again, please don't do that again." molly was saying and I saw tears in her eyes.

"Don't ever do that again John please." Sarah said in a tone that was very hard, and I knew she was trying to keep her emotions within her.

"Can I just say that I did not try to kill myself, and I am a bit disappointed that you would think that of me, and that was a fluke, next time I would double check that no waves that big come near me again." I told them, and molly just smiled, and Sarah was glad that I was still myself.

"Lets take you to a hospital John, so they can make sure everything is alright." Greg just said in a tight voice.

"Greg, I am a doctor, all I suffered is just nearly drowning, I just need to take it easy and then drink plenty of water to keep from dehydrating, and I don't want to go to a hospital and then have Mycroft think I tried to kill myself as you three did. You know how angry I should be, that you can think I was that weak, if I didn't try it earlier what makes you think I want to now. If anything I realized I like living." I told them able to stand as I went to the blanket that was laid out to rest.

"Fine, but if you are still shaking, and coughing by the time we leave, I will bloody drag you to the nearest doctor myself." he said a bit too threatening.

The sun was out so he didn't really worried much about it, the thing is he knew the night was another thing.

After they packet and headed home, John went to the familiar flat, and when he was about to enter he realized that the door was ajar, and he got an umbrella from near by ready to fight.

"Is that really how you great people? My dear John" asked the all too familiar voice of Mycroft.

"Mycroft" I hissed.

"I heard about your near death accident, I do hope that you wont be so stupid to do that again." he said as he rose, and then his eye brow shot up, but before he could say anything else I spoke.

"Why does everyone think I will kill myself? I miscalculated the wave, and when I did notice it was too late to go back, and I did try to fight, because I realized that I could not do that to you again, not after well you know." I said.

"Say his name its alright, besides I think you are showing symptoms of hypothermia, and I think best that you go to bed before it develop even further, and I will make us some tea." he said as he turned to the kitchen, and I just stood there mouth wide open, until he had tsk, and I went to my room to change and went under the covers.

_Lost till you're found_

_swim till you drown_

_know that we all fall down_

_love till you hate_

_strong till you break_

_know that we all fall down_

_all fall down_

When John awake, and he had no idea he had fallen asleep, there was a note on the night stand.

I hope you had a restful night, in the end I didn't make tea as I hear you snore, and I left as swiftly seeing as you were fine. One last thing if you could come to my house on Saturday would be very much appreciated.

Always, Mycroft

I wondered what could be as important that he would need to talk to me, but I got up took a shower, and then I went downstairs and made tea.

I felt refreshed seeing as I was able to get about eight hours of restful sleep, and I decided that today I would go visit Sherlock's grave for one last time.

It was Friday morning and I went to the nearest flower shop to get some flowers for Sherlock, when I saw that there was a new murder, and no evidence as to who the victim was dead.

I went to Lestrade, and he let me in, and then he gave me five minutes.

I saw everything as did Sherlock once, and as I checked the body I saw a small wound behind the ear, and it was the size of a needle injection.

Then I saw that he had saliva coagulated around his mouth and I knew he was poisoned with Polonium, and I could not believe that Lestrade missed the clue that he was poison.

"He was poison, during the party last night, and you can prove it was poison by the excess saliva, and then the blood in between the throat." I told Lestrade, and then he looked quite amused, but Donovan and Anderson, looked pained.

"How would you know he was poison? There is no siring that indicates he was poisoned." Lestrade said.

"The enter wound was well hidden, but I figured it was supposed to be somewhere it would affect the brain very soon, and that is behind the ear, here you can still see the wound with a bit of blood." I told him as he saw what I had seen.

After I went back to go visit Sherlock at the cementary. There I told him about my near drowning and how I helped solve a murder, but still I had no idea to who had done the deed.

By the time I had finished I realized it was quite late, and I said my farewells, then I hailed a cab back to the flat.

As I entered the flat, I realized that there was a faint smell of the after shave that Mycroft using, and now I knew I had seen a black car follow where I was going today, and then I knew Mycroft was sitting in the arm chair that was usually mine.

"I realized that you had me followed, was that really necessary, I was never really planning on dying, if I didn't when he was first gone, then I certainly wont right now." I told him a bit irritated.

"That is not why I am here, but you did seem to neglect your stomach, seeing as you had nothing but tea all of today. Besides I thought I would stay here today, no one would think of finding me here. Then we can ride to my house tomorrow in the morning after breakfast." Mycroft said as he set the table and I was hanging my jacket on the coat rack.

We ate dinner in silence, and then we watched some crap tely, and then I told him that we could sleep in Sherlock's room, but he said he was not very tired, and then he used his laptop that I had no idea he had with him, and then I went to sleep in my room.

_All fall down,_

_Lost till you're found_

_Swim till you drown_

_Know that we all fall down_

_love till you hate_

_strong till you break_

_know that we all fall down._

_All fall down_

The next morning, I woke up to the smell of eggs, and coffee and it smelled very good, that I took a quick shower, and then dressed and went downstairs. What I saw, was beyond anything I had seen, there was a bowl of fruits and of bacon, and eggs, and the coffee was already served, and Mycroft already had a plate for himself.

"I had Anthea bring the food, and set it up, seeing as Mrs. Hudson was out, and I also took to start eating, because I had no idea when you would wake, seeing as we both overslept," he said, as I took a plate of eggs, and bacon.

"Right, well thank Anthea for the food, and you as well, thanks, I guess." I said, and then I smelled a faint smell of sugar confection, and I saw a faint trace of powder sugar on his lips, and I knew he also had a piece of cake, but made no comment.

We ate in silence, and then we read the newspaper, and after I asked why he wanted to me to go to his house, but he never replayed, and I didn't comment.

We got in the black car, and then we headed to his house, and by then I was drowning in questions that I wanted to ask, but never had a chance as he interrupted my tirade.

"Congratulations," he said, and he then stared at me.

"On what?" I asked as I had no idea what.

"Really so soon forgotten your special moment with the police?" he asked, and then I remembered that I had helped Lestrade on a case, this time in person and not anonymously.

"Oh, right, yes now I remembered it was nothing, if Anderson really was doing his job he would have figured it out as well." I said as kept watching out the window.

Then I heard him chuckled, and I had to look at him, and he wore a sly smile on his face.

"What?" I asked.

"You, you remind me of him, now more then ever." he said, and then I felt my insides break, and then I realized that it was alright, I had made my peace, and I laughed with him.

Once we were nearing his house I saw Molly's car parked outside, and I looked up at him, but he betrayed nothing.

We got out, and we went to in, and then he told me to wait in the living room. I saw molly and I joined her, but she seemed more nervous then anything.

"Hey, molly how are you? Do you happen to know why we are here?" I asked her, but she never met my eyes, as she was staring behind me.

"I do" said a deep baritone voice, that I had memorized with the single phrase 'goodbye, John'.

I turned and I saw the unruly dark curls that belonged to the face that had very sharped cheekbones, and was impossibly pale, and then I stared at molly, and I knew, she had always known he was alive, and so had Mycroft.

I was drowning in darkness once again, and all the love I had had turned to hate in an instance.

"John?" I heard the deep voice, as I was gaining consciousness.

"You, you made me believe all this time you were dead, and all of a sudden you are alive, I was at you funeral, why couldn't you not tell me you where alive? I mourned you, I was broken without you, you bloody bastard." I yelled at him, and then I stood, and I swung my arm back and punched him on the face.

"John?" he asked.

After that I just decide if I wanted to jump or just hate him more, but I grabbed him by that stupid jacket, and I hugged him.

"There, there John it is all right, I wont go anywhere anymore, I have taken care of all the dangers, that prevented me from coming back." he said, and I had no tears coming, because he was alive, and I knew that it was all going to be fine.

"You owe me big for this you know that right," I said as I let go of him, and I was glad he was alive, and not dead.

"Will you help me?" he asked unsure of what I would say.

"Of course, I always will." I said, and then he seemed to relax, and he smiled, a genuine smile.

"I still need to catch the last sniper, and that is why my brother slept over, and then had you come here, it would seem less abnormal, but there is an empty house next to our flat, and that is where we will catch Moran, and molly will alert Lestrade, to meet you there, but I will be there as well, and then he will be gone." he said, already awaiting the coming case.

"Oh, and John, I heard about the case you almost solved, I always knew you were special, at least you can do Anderson's job better then he can." he said, and I just had to smile at him.

We waited in the dark, house for almost three hours, but then we heard footsteps, and we prepared ourselves, as we also signaled for Lestrade to be ready.

Once we caught Moran we left for the flat, where Mrs. Hudson already had tea for two ready, and she never even seemed surprised that he was back.

Three months later everything was back to normal, as much as it can with Sherlock around, and Donovan and Anderson just kept their mouth shut as they saw Sherlock move, but then Sherlock got irritated that they never said anything, so he told them that they should get over their awkwardness, and that everything should go back to the way things where before.

Anderson was the first to brake, and Sherlock called him a weak man, Anderson just stared at him, with his mouth hanging open, like a fish.

"John?" Sherlock yelled from the couch where we was.

"yes Sherlock?" I yelled back.

"I'm BORED, and the tea is cold, I need a case." he said, as he stood, and I handed him the cuppa.

Everything had almost gone back to normal, though I still saw Mycroft every once in a while when Sherlock needed quiet.


End file.
